Estonian Couple Opens Up About Their Three-Year IVF Emotional Journey

An Estonian couple has openly shared their emotional and physical struggles with infertility and IVF. Kristi Petolai, a makeup artist and stylist, and her partner Lennart Ruuda, a journalist, recently spoke about their three-year journey to conceive. Their story aims to break the silence around male experiences in fertility treatments, a topic often discussed only by women.

Kristi and Lennart tried to conceive naturally for two years before turning to IVF. When other methods failed, they began fertility treatments, completing three cycles so far. Each attempt felt like a challenge, with the couple analyzing what could be adjusted for better results.

The process took a toll on both of them. Kristi endured physical side effects like swelling, headaches, nausea, and abdominal pain, along with restrictions after each procedure. Lennart found it difficult to watch her suffer, describing his role as limited to handing over a sample during appointments. Humour became their coping mechanism during the toughest moments.

Despite the stress, their relationship grew stronger through honesty and openness. Kristi wanted to highlight Lennart's perspective, as men's experiences in fertility struggles are rarely discussed. They now encourage others facing similar challenges to consider IVF, emphasizing that the effort is worthwhile for those hoping to conceive.

In Estonia, around 1,500 to 2,000 people undergo IVF annually. The law allows treatments for women up to 42 (or 45 with frozen embryos), with strict rules on embryo transfers. State subsidies cover up to 50% of costs—around €1,000 to €2,000 per cycle—while private treatment can cost between €2,500 and €5,000.

Kristi and Lennart's story sheds light on the realities of IVF, from physical strain to emotional resilience. Their experience reflects the broader challenges faced by couples in Estonia, where legal and financial support exists but treatments remain demanding. By speaking openly, they hope to foster greater understanding and support for others on similar paths.