Why Homesickness Strikes Kids on School Trips—and How to Help

A school trip can be wildly fun, enriching, and exhilarating. Shared experiences far from family, timetables, and the daily grind can deepen friendships in ways that last. Sure, you might learn to ski, but it's the little moments—the chaos, the secrets, the inside jokes—that linger longest in memory. What happens at the youth hostel stays at the youth hostel. Who hid the key to the boys' room? That mystery will never see the light of day, only to resurface twenty years later at a class reunion, dissolved in helpless laughter. But for some, a week away from home can cut deep.

For years, psychological research struggled to pin down a clear definition of homesickness, explains psychologist Friedrich Götz. "Our current understanding is best captured by Dutch researchers Margaret Stroebe, Henk Schut, and Maaike Nauta, who describe it as a kind of 'mini-grieving process'—a negative emotional state triggered primarily by separation from loved ones and home." It's marked by longing, persistent thoughts of what's been left behind, and often, difficulty adjusting to the new environment. Writing from his base at the University of British Columbia, Götz notes that homesickness is a yearning for home in both the literal and symbolic sense.

In general, Götz says, there are two ways to tackle homesickness: either by focusing on what you've left behind or by engaging with the new surroundings. For the first approach, scheduling specific times to connect with those you miss can help. You can even practice being away in advance. If you concentrate on the new environment, though, the key is to stay active—seek out enjoyable activities and people to distract yourself. The goal is to create a "home away from home" and build confidence in navigating the unfamiliar.

Interestingly, those who tend to prioritize others' needs—striving to keep everyone around them happy—often experience more intense homesickness. One possible explanation is that these individuals struggle when they can no longer meet the needs of friends and family back home. A key finding from past studies offers a glimmer of hope: homesickness typically peaks quickly, then fades almost as fast. For children and teens dreading an upcoming school trip, that may be cold comfort.

Birgit Satke, a life and social counselor who heads the helpline Rat auf Draht ("Advice on the Line"), says homesickness is a recurring theme in their support work. The issue doesn't discriminate by age, though it tends to hit elementary school children harder, as their attachment to caregivers is still especially strong. Teenagers with lower self-esteem are equally vulnerable, she adds.

"First, you need to uncover what's really behind the fear—why a child might refuse to go on a school trip. Is there a conflict in the group? Are they worried about leaving their parents alone, or missing out on something while they're gone?" These are the questions to address. Above all, Satke stresses, homesickness should be taken seriously, and preparation is key. "Talk about it openly, involve children and teens in planning, and agree on how you'll reconnect if homesickness strikes. Teachers and chaperones should be briefed in advance so they can step in early if needed."

Pulling a child out early is rarely the best solution, says Birgit Satke, because even this is part of a learning process. "You should avoid it if at all possible" and not rush to pick up your child over every little thing. "Overcoming homesickness can actually boost self-confidence." With younger children in particular, parents can practice overnight stays away from home in small steps beforehand and then discuss the experience afterward. What makes things worse, she warns, is when parents dismiss their child's (looming) homesickness with phrases like "It'll be fine"—that can actually make the situation harder. Instead, she advises focusing on the positive aspects: making new friends can provide a sense of security and often makes homesickness fade away.